"Terror For Sale"

(Nuclear Blast/Scarlet)

01. Five Star Prison
02. Metal Mosh Massacre
03. Cheap Thrills
04. King Kong Bong
05. Wrath of the Cookie Monster
06. Satans Barbecue
07. Flesh Fever Fiesta
08. Liquor Saved Me From Sports
09. Fed Up Anthem
10. Mummy Metal For the Masses
11. Stattena T(h)rash
12. Bloody Blues Blaster

RATING: 8/10

The last time I interviewed SOILWORK vocalist "Speed" Strid, he hadn't recorded this new TERROR 2000 album yet. I asked him if it was gonna be stressful or taxing to make another album so soon after "Stabbing the Drama", and he replied, more or less, that "we just have to get drunk and go make the damn thing."

Well, it's pretty obvious that's exactly what happened. And the results are awesome! TERROR 2000 (also featuring DARKANE's Klas Idberg and CONSTRUCTDEAD drummer Erik Thyselius) deal in simple, head-down retro thrash with wickedly catchy riffs, infectious choruses, and some of the most utterly ridiculous lyrics you're likely to find.

I could quote half the liner notes to prove my point, but just check out the ludicrous "King Kong Song" as one example. The chorus? "I will write you a song song / just as heavy as King Kong / while I'm smoking my bong bong / I wanna be a hunk with a metal guitar / Cause people tell me I could go pretty far / I need some kicks and some Kerry King licks / And get the chicks by the bar." It gets even better in "Wrath of the Cookie Monster", mentioning how "IN FLAMES and SOILWORK have just sold out / and one of the singers is getting bald," so "Sony Music is looking for a band / I think I've got a plan… I stole some riffs from a CD today / I think it was AT THE GATES… my friends got totally amazed". Keep in mind, some of this is delivered in faux-serious QUEEN harmonies!

Normally, I'm not a huge fan of such jokey fare, because most of the time the music that backs it up is terrible. But only an idiot would deny the riffing on this record, the band seemingly able to toss off addictive thrash in their sleep (or, more accurately, an alcoholic coma). And the varied, over-the-top vocals are entertaining as hell, injecting extreme metal with an all-too-rare sense of fun and the ability to mock its own conventions and clichés.

Anyone who enjoys the demented outlook of Devin Townsend (or S.O.D., for that matter), likes nimble and neck-breaking thrash, and loves shit-talking (I can't wait to find out if I've guessed correctly about who "Wrath of the Cookie Monster" and "Mummy Metal For the Masses" are about) needs to go purchase "Terror For Sale" immediately. It's the kind of effortless raveup that you'll be playing over and over, long after this season's supposedly more-important metal records are gathering dust on your shelf. What a blast!


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