FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
Members of many top hard rock and heavy metal bands have united to endorse heavy metal parody webzine Infernal Combustion, sources revealed today.
"When you're tired of reading every burp and fart from our studio diary, IC is a fun diversion," comments VOIVOD bassist "Jasonic" Newsted. "They rip off the Onion pretty hardcore, but it's about heavy metal — what a concept!"
KREATOR's Mille Petrozza agrees. "If you've worn your fingers out typing GEORGE BUSH RULES!!!! comments based on my remarks about the Iraq conflict, why not go read some funny stories? And if you can't find any funny stories, read Infernal Combustion."
BRIDES OF DESTRUCTION's Nikki Sixx took a moment from hiring and firing band members to say "since 1999, Infernal Combustion has made fun of all the ridiculous aspects of hard rock and heavy metal. They're meaner to Vince Neil than I am, which is tough to do."
Axl Rose was scheduled to cut the ribbon on IC's latest issue, the 27th, at a special ceremony on Thanksgiving Day. According to sources within the GUNS camp, Rose's plane is "almost in the air." Rioting Infernal Combustion fans have caused an estimated $9 in damages, but access to the site remains clear.
Site founder Keith Bergman was busy thinking up excuses why this issue was so late, and why the next one will probably be even later, and was unavailable for comment.
[Note: This is obviously a parody press release. If you didn't figure that out, we encourage you to visit some other site instead. Chuck E. Cheese has a fun one.]
Site: Infernal Combustion