The following item was published in today's edition of the New York Daily News:
Ozzy Osbourne's son, Jack, is 17. You'd think he could go to the bathroom by himself.
Ozzy's demon seed was hanging out with pro skateboarder Jason Dill Sunday night at the new lower East Side lounge Pianos. Also there was an attractive brunette to whose bottom Jack's hand was laminated.
Jack and Jason and the brunette idled for a while in the upstairs lounge, where Imitation of Christ founder Matt Damhave, Seven boutique owner Joseph Quartana and others were celebrating designer Benjamin Cho's birthday.
Then came the moment when Jack needed to use the bathroom. Showing all the steadiness of his dad as he hoisted himself off the barstool, the young Osbourne made his way to the loo, accompanied by his lady friend. The pair emerged a little while later, looking refreshed.
As Jack never tires of saying, "It's a good time."