Report: VINCE NEIL's 'Motley Cruise' Must Not Leave Port

Aaron J. Brown of The Daily Tribune reports:

Vince Neil, member of '80s rock band MÖTLEY CRÜE, chartered and is now taking reservations for a nostalgic entertainment voyage he is calling "Motley Cruise". The Carnival Cruise-sponsored voyage features an "intimate" concert with Vince Neil, a no-limit Texas Hold-Em Tournament, and a Hooters "Girls Girls Girls" bikini contest. Passengers may also sip samples of wine from Vince's private vineyard.

I think I speak for a majority of Democrats, Republicans, Independents, Libertarians, Greens, Whigs and Tories when I say that this ship must not leave port. If it does, it must be sunk to the bottom of the ocean with a hail of firepower unseen since the invention of gunpowder. Survivors must not receive quarter.

I'm sorry if this seems extreme. You might be sitting back in your comfy, Middle American recliner, sipping a wholesome beverage wondering what is wrong with this angry, angry man. Well, I'm not angry at Vince. This isn't personal. Heck, this cruise is for charity and that's great.

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