GWAR's ODERUS TO SLIPKNOT's TAYLOR: 'Shut Your Whining Trap'

January 1, 2003

GWAR's Oderus Urungus (a.k.a. Dave Brockie) has slammed SLIPKNOT frontman Corey Taylor over the latter's recent vow that he will never allow SLIPKNOT to "hang out after we have lost our relevance… I got one fucking word for you: GWAR," Taylor added. "I will never do that, and I would never let that happen to a band I bled and almost went blind in one eye for, not to mention nearly losing my voice and losing the ability to sing."

Brockie's response to Taylor's statement is as follows:

"Well, Corey, if I may retort, I feel you would be better served keeping your whining trap shut. Every time I read anything you say it is some piss-assed sulky BULLSHIT about how somebody had a fake laminate or how hot your overalls are or how you almost went blind over your band, didn't talk to each other for years or whatever. WAAAAAHHH! Grow up you big baby! We don't care about your rock 'n' roll soap opera, and your self-indulgent hissy-fits dilute and distract from the alleged potency of 'the 'KNOT'. Take a page from DEVO or GWAR and stick with the characters and the image they create. They are much more interesting than you are (which isn't saying much). But how could I doubt someone who has created 'two of the best albums of all time'. I guess you are also the guy who decides who makes the best cheesesteaks or serves the 'greatest slice in town'. My point is that self-annointed praise is bullshit! You are always going on about how great you are — cut it out! Do you think you're Muhammed Ali or what? I can just imagine your embarrassed bandmates eyes rolling behind their masks, as you launch into yet another long-winded and ultimately asinine tirade, the delivery of which has unfortunately become your trademark. No wonder they don't talk to you. And please stop saying 'the KNOT', it sounds stupid, like 'the Nuge', or 'the MAIDEN'. And as far as relevance is concerned, I have one word for you — GWAR. The mere fact that you would link relevance with a word that means nothing underscores your moronic observations as actually being retarded. If you don't believe me, look up GWAR in the dictionary. Cultural events have relevance far longer than their actual occurrence, which means that even your crummy band will have relevance long after you break up, which will hopefully be soon. And GWAR will still be there, leading the insulting reverie, a festering stool on the doorstep of the music industry, unmarred and eternally stinky. It delights me no end that you think GWAR sucks. Maybe you can whine about it some more and we can get some free publicity. You are just too funny. A ninny placed on a podium is a ninny nonetheless. It's too bad that your band is 'eating itself'. You should eat a bowl of dick, maybe that would help. Long after 'the KNOT' has been reduced to a series of protracted legal battles, GWAR will remain an indelible blot on the fabric of our lives, and I will remain a dedicated, obscure, and in my own manner, relevant artist. People will eternally remember you as the scary clowns who had the lead-singer that whined like a little bitch every time he got in print. Maybe you'll think GWAR is relevant when Oderus rams his scaly cock up your ass, that is if you can stop orgasming for five seconds."

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