KELLY OSBOURNE Celebrates Birthday In Style

The following item was posted at www.kellyosbourne.com:

What a weekend! C-R-A-Z-Y from the word "Go". Here's how it all went down....Everyone — the Osbournes, Kelly and Jack's friends, MTV crew, Ozzy's band and crew, and a couple other stragglers (like me) — meets at the airport to board probably the biggest charter jet I've ever seen. I know right then and there this trip's gonna be a doozy. After a short 50-minute flight we land at an airstrip literally right off the Strip. It takes all of about ten minutes to get to the Venetian, our home for the next two days. I don't know if you know about the Venetian, but it's not your average hotel with a bed and bathroom. Every room is not really a room, it's a suite with at least three different rooms. Posh, very posh. Everyone is told to meet down by the lemon trees downstairs at 6:45PM, just enough time to get from the Venetian to the Palms Casino where Ozzy has an 8PM show. Two shuttles take us to the Palms, and everyone is led through a couple different back-kitchens and three elevators before we're in the VIP suite. The show begins but not before someone in the audience falls down and has to be taken out on a stretcher. He looked pretty hurt, and the only funny part came when the paramedics were taking him out and the crowd started chanting "Oz-zy! Oz-zy!" and the dude musters up the energy to throw the metal horns! Everyone was pumped when Ozzy hit the stage and it was a great 90-minute set. We left during the encores so we wouldn't get caught in the foot and car traffic crush following the show. Back to the Venetian we go... We're told to meet by Sharon and Ozzy's penthouse at 10:30pm. Not exactly sure why but okay. When the time arrives we get word that Sharon wants everyone to come down to a restaurant called Letuce (pronounced Le-toos). Once down there we find that this isn't just for a drink but because this is Kelly's birthday party. It was supposed to be a surprise but Kelly wasn't very shocked as she filed in with her friends. It was a swank place and there a "Happy Birthday, Kelly" ice sculpture next to a full buffet. I'm not talking hot dogs and cheeseburgers, either. This was prime rib, salmon, iced shrimp, amazing potatoes, all kinds of stuff, and I went back for thirds and fourths. I was doin' the Homer Simpson food coma drool action for about 30 minutes after I ate. Right about the time I was comin' to the real fun began. Nothing gets a party started faster than transvestite celebrity impersonators! First was "Joan Rivers", then "Elvis", then "Cher", then "Tina Turner", then the "Rocky Horror Picture Show"-ish "Frankfurter". During "Tina's" set Sharon got out and did a jig on the dance floor that was awesome! Needless to say, everyone was in stitches by the time the "revue" was over. By that time, a crowd of on-lookers had gathered across the bridge from the terrace we were on. After the revue it was back to eating and drinking and being merry. Kelly's birthday cake came out and soon after everyone was going their separate ways. The next day and a half was full of laughs and relaxation, but Kelly's party will rank as one of the great times of 2002 for this reporter. Stay tuned for the Polaroids....!