LAMB OF GOD's MARK MORTON Says Writing His Memoir 'Wound Up Being A Mountain Of Work': 'It Was A Monumental Project'

During an appearance on Full Metal Jackie's nationally syndicated radio show, LAMB OF GOD's Mark Morton was asked what the most surprising thing was that he discovered about himself in the process of putting together his memoir, "Desolation: A Heavy Metal Memoir", which came out last month via Hachette Books. Co-written with Ben Opipari, the book explores both Mark's life in music and his tumultuous path through addiction and into recovery. Mark said: "Yeah, that's an interesting question. I went into this wondering, I went into the book project wondering if it would be cathartic or therapeutic or this process of self-discovery, as you alluded to. I'm not sure that it was, Jackie. I think the big takeaway for me… I essentially wrote the book just to see if I could do it, and it wound up being a mountain of work. And it was kind of — the joke was on me, because, yeah, I could do it, but it was a monumental project. But also, I think the big takeaway for me was just this sense of relief and gratitude that I had gotten past so much of the stuff that happens in the book.

"My life has by no stretch been a sob story," he continued. "There's a lot of just absolutely thrilling things that I've been fortunate enough to be a part of, and there's a lot of humor in the book, but there's some tragedy and some trauma as well. And so for me to be sitting where I'm sitting now and being able to reflect on that informs all of those experiences with a sense of hope. And I'd like to think that's one of the takeaways of the book, is that there's always hope and there's always a chance to get better."

When Full Metal Jackie noted that it must have been "a tough line to walk" in terms of how much of his "personal tragedies and low points" he wanted to share in the book, Mark concurred. "Yeah, it's a scary thing to try and balance how much you wanna let go of," he said. "'Cause there's some really, really personal stories in here. And those can be handled a lot of different ways, and you can go for shocking or you can go for guarded; there's a lot of different angles you can take with some of those stories. And that was a learning process for me. I'd never written a book. And I barely read books, frankly. When I do, they're usually rock memoirs. So I had some point of reference. So I think I had to learn that as I went.

"The big thing I found was to just be genuine and to try to tell those stories with a sense of respect, not only for the experience that I had, but for people who may have had a similar experience," Mark added. "So to try and be respectful of people who have lived through similar things as I have, but to also be genuine and not wear things as a badge or water things down to take the weight out of them, just to be authentic with it."

In a separate LiveSigning discussion with Opipari to promote "Desolation: A Heavy Metal Memoir", Mark revealed that the "hardest" chapter for him to write for the book was the one about the passing of his daughter. In 2009, Morton's baby, Madalyn Grace Morton, died the day after she was born after developing an infection during delivery. He wrote about the loss on the song "Embers" which came out on LAMB OF GOD's 2015 album, "VII: Sturm Und Drang", and in an essay that Noisey published.

Regarding why that chapter was especially difficult for him to write, Mark told LiveSigning: "It's not because I discovered anything new about that situation. I just think that I struggled to honor it and word it just right. And I remember telling you, 'I don't want a lot of notes on this one.' That was one of the things I was, like, 'If there's grammatical stuff…' I spent some time with that one. I was in a really bad mood those few days. So, in that sense, it just drummed up stuff. It's not something I bury. It's not something I forget. It's not something I wanna commodify either. I didn't want this to be a book about that, but I can't tell my story without touching on that. So it was more about finding the balance of all those things and kind of making it feel like I honored that, but didn't exploit it and told my authentic version of that. And I think that's what we did."

Morton also talked about the chapter that was "the most fun" for him to write, saying: "I really, really enjoyed kind of going through all the memories of the BURN THE PRIEST era of LAMB OF GOD and then the early LAMB OF GOD stuff and just really trying to characterize what an absolute just cyclone of chaos and idiocy we were back then. And that was fun to explore and to revisit. And even with the stuff before that, like my high school bands, I did a lot of checking in with folks and seeing if I was remembering this right. I even — when I talk about some of the early LAMB OF GOD days when we were playing, like, squats and warehouses in Philly and that kind of underground punk metal scene that we were a part of down there, I had a guy that I spoke to — he had reached out via one of my social media platforms and was saying he was at certain shows that I was kind of referencing as a touchstone from that point in time. And we got on the phone and I just checked my memory of that show versus his, and he gave me some real insight. And that was pretty cool. I thanked him in the book."

"Desolation" was described by the publisher as "the story of Morton's lifelong quest for clarity and self-acceptance, and shows how the pressures of career success and personal battles eventually came into conflict with Morton's dedication to the creative process. Intertwined with addiction, self-destruction, and the path to eventual surrender and recovery, Morton also reveals the greatest personal tragedy of his life: the death of his two-day old daughter, plunging Morton further into hopelessness. Surrounded by bandmates living their wildest dreams, Morton wanted nothing more than to disappear, ingesting potentially lethal cocktails of drugs and alcohol into his system on a daily basis.

"And yet, amidst the harrowing heartbreak, there were moments of triumph, hope, and incredible personal connection. Morton developed close relationships with his bandmates and crew members, sharing experiences that have made for some strange and hilarious tales. He's also gained a greater sense of purpose through interactions with his fans, who remind him that his work reaches people on a deeply personal level. Through the highs and the lows, Morton learns how to find presence and gratitude where he once found fear and resentment, a process that he considers a gift of spiritual awakening.

"'Desolation' is, at its core, about Morton's journey as a musician navigating self-doubt, anxiety and the progressive disease of addiction, and ultimately finding relative serenity. Perfect for fans, new and old, as well as anyone who has ever been tested and brought to their limits, "Desolation" is a highly satisfying, full-throttle investigation of the human experience."

When the book was first announced, Morton commented: "Initially, I started writing this book just to see if I could do it. But as the writing process unfolded, it quickly took on much more meaning. Unpacking my story, I was able to observe events in my life with an objectivity that I hadn't experienced while I'd lived them in real time.

"Through a lens of hindsight and recovery, I made friends with my past and found value in my most difficult days," he continued. "I hope that by offering my experiences, I can create a point of connection and commonality. There are a lot of fun stories in here and a few really sad ones. I'm grateful to have the opportunity to share them."

Morton co-founded LAMB OF GOD, which was initially called BURN THE PRIEST, in 1994.

In 2019, Morton released his debut solo album, "Anesthetic".

LAMB OF GOD's latest LP, "Omens", came out in 2022.

Earlier this month, Morton and the rest of LAMB OF GOD embarked on the "Ashes Of Leviathan" tour with MASTODON.