METALLICA Frontman: I Have Become The Voice For Others Speaking Through The Music

On Thursday, March 3, Rockville Music Magazine conducted an interview with METALLICA guitarist/vocalist James Hetfield and filmmaker Justin Hunt at the San Rafael California Film Institute in San Rafael, California. Hetfield and Hunt presented and discussed the award-winning documentary "Absent", exploring the worldwide crisis of absent and disengaged fathers and the negative impact that the "father wound" makes on society. A couple of excerpts from the chat follow below.

Rockville Music Magazine: James, your road into fatherhood wasn't easy. You have previously spoken about how you had to fight to learn to love your family and learn how join them with METALLICA. I think people relate to you so well because they have seen that struggle. During [the METALLICA documentary] "Some Kind of Monster" we see you miss your son's birthday due to a hunting trip in Russia. In the fillm, we can see that regret in your expression from missing that moment. Now, is there anything that could pull you away or keep you from missing one of your kid's birthdays?

Hetfield: (smiling) No. And if there happens to be a show that is accidentally book because I'm, you know, (laughing) in the early ages of Alzheimer's, or too much headbanging, then [my kids] are there. We'll pull them from school and fly them to Lisbon or fly them to Philly, or wherever it is, so the kids gets to celebrate with their Pops. But, you know, that was the old me. Fatherhood, I don't know, I can only speak for myself. I was waiting to be ready for it, and now when I talk to some friends [who are saying], 'I don't know if this is the girl for me, I'm afraid we're going to have kids. I don't know how to do all this.' I say, 'Ah, well you're normal.' I had no clue on what to do. I thought I'd better start reading some books on how to be dad. I started to get mad. My dad didn't teach me to do this or this. How can I teach my kids if he didn't teach me?! I'd better go learn it. There was a lot of resentment that came from fear. And once I figured out they don't need all of that. They don't need the instructions. They need guidance. They need love. They need you to be there, simple as that. They have been the teachers. (laughing) I have not taught them a whole lot. I told them a bunch of stories, basically. (More laughter from Hunt and Hetfield) They have taught me a lot about myself, and life, and how to live life easier.

Rockville Music Magazine: James, do you ever look back and see a pivotal moment where it just clicked for you, what kind of dad you wanted to be?

James: That pivotal moment was, and I can close my eyes and be there again, it's in our house, a couple of houses ago. We moved to try to get some better vibes elsewhere. (laughing) Sitting in the house, visiting my kids because [at the time] I wasn't really allowed, because I wasn't living there. But just sitting with the kids and just realizing, "You know what?! I don't have to do anything else. I don't have to show up for this gig. I don't have to, you know, I can be late for this. All that shit can go away. All I have to do is just sit here with my kids," and that is fine. It was the pivotal moment that I realized there is a certain priority in this life and they are at the top of it.

Rockville Music Magazine: Het, have you ever considered the reason why all of this happened in your life, why you went through this painful journey is because you do have this gift [of music]. By writing about your trials, and giving voice to generations of men who have gone through similar situations in their lives, they have followed your journey into fatherhood and they are responding to it. How does that feel?

Hetfield: (excited laughter) It's awesome! There's a lot of accountability with that. Having your story out there and your struggles, there's a lot of accountability. You have to kind of (shrugs),"Well, if I fall down, people know all about this." They can either point the finger and go, "Ha! You fell!" or they can go, "Here, give me your hand and I can help you up," because they know your story. Being honest about it is the best policy. My dad would always, you know... truth. The best word on the planet. Truth. That was the name of his motorcycle when he was drag racing motorcycles in the '40s, The Truth. I would also add on to what Justin was talking about. Yeah, we all come from different backgrounds but the common thread is being there for your kids. The struggles fathers go through in their role and how to express their frustration with it without being looked at like some wimp, or just "suck it up." We're seeing it at my kids' school. My kids saying, and it's a private school in Marin County, "Wow, I can't believe how many parents are divorced." And looking at the interview [in "Absent"], watching some of the maybe-not-so-well-off kids, that all of his friends don't have dads, or there is only a single parent. It's not about class at all. Like you said, the journey, it's brought us here for a reason. That is so, so clear and so evident in a lot of [my] history. And without what-if-ing everything, we are here for a reason. I've been put through a struggle for a reason. It's so ironic that the voice I didn't have as a kid, I listened to music, and that was my voice speaking to me. In a way, I have become that voice for others and speaking through the music. It's irony at its best. I'm extremely grateful to be in that position.

Read the entire interview and check out photos at Rockville Music Magazine.