THOR
Thor Against the World
Smog VeilTrack listing:
01. Thor Against the World
02. Creature Feature
03. Easy Woman
04. Serpents Kiss
05. Glimmer
06. Gonna Have a Hard Time
07. Hard To Cry
08. Long Time
09. Megaton Man
10. Turn To Blue
11. The Coming Of Thor
One of those legendary 1980s types that no one you know actually seems to have ever have heard of, Jon Mikl Thor is some sort of Canadian bodybuilding heavy metal movie star. He's been working on a comeback for a few years now, releasing an album last year (the quasi-conceptual "Thor Vs. The Beastwomen of Mars") that easily ranked as one of the stupidest, most oddly-recorded crapheaps I've ever come across. With that as my sole exposure to the musclebound fogey (first recorded output: 1977!),I was kinda dreading the sight of a new THOR album in the mailbox.
"Thor Against the World" is, at the very least, miles better than that audio atrocity. This seems to have more to do with THOR's support team this time out, including Frank Meyer (STREETWALKIN' CHEETAHS),who played guitar, bass, keyboards and wrote most of the music. There's a whole lotta metal in the 1970s sense here, in a doofus sort of third-tier way (the kind of biker boogie that THE GODZ used to put out, or maybe KISS or ALICE COOPER at their campiest).
"Serpent's Kiss" slinks by like B-grade PENTAGRAM, while "Glimmer", arguably the best track here, throws in some THIN LIZZY guitar before getting a little DEVO in the chorus (shortly before — Lord help us all — the sax solo). There's even a little harmonica-laden garage rock on the Farfisa-and-hipster-drenched "Hard To Cry", though somehow I doubt THE WHITE STRIPES or THE BLACK KEYS are worrying too much about being co-opted by a middle-aged weightlifter.
Throughout, the lyrics are cringe-worthy, and the vocals silly. Being a bad singer doesn't matter much for this type of material — if it did, ALICE COOPER would probably be a caddy. But these amiably lame Camaro-rock boogers are hardly the sort of anthems that'll bring Thor, the man, back to any sort of prominence. He's obviously made a few cool friends, like the Smog Veil folks (they brought us the ultra-rockin' AMPS II ELEVEN among others),and cover artist Mark Dancey (BIG CHIEF, FIVE HORSE JOHNSON). But none of them are gonna make the ultra-goofy "Megaton Man" ("flying through the ozone on your time machine") worth more than a couple chuckle-filled ironic listens, or make "Turn to Blue" anything but a constipated power ballad.
"Thor Against the World" isn't horrible, but there just doesn't seem to be much point to it. If he was already famous, this could be one of those campy merchandising tie-ins, like the infamous Hulk Hogan and Mr. T records. As it stands now, though, the whole thing just sorta seems like the punch line to a joke no one's heard.