5 STAR GRAVE

This hard-working Italian band already has songs being used as sports themes, porn stars wearing their t-shirts in photo shoots, and an impressive-looking self-released debut album. What they don't have, though, is much of an identity of their own. Call 'em CHILDREN OF CHILDREN OF BODOM if you'd like, because while there are superficial differences, that band's debaucherous, keyboard-drenched cartoon thrash is the first thing that'll come to mind when spinning "Corpse Breed Syndrome".

I mean, it's not like they're trying hard to hide it. The bouncy riffs and upbeat tempos, the '80s keyboard tones, the harsh vocals delivering occasionally-sleazy tidbits of rock and roll sardonica, the catchy choruses... While it could be argued that even the masters of this style are creatively running on fumes of late, so maybe it's okay to encourage a few pretenders to the throne, the fact is that 5 STAR GRAVE songs tend to run together after a bit. More than a couple songs in one sitting and the listener is left with little but a candy-coated malaise of the same few tricks endlessly repeated. In fact, the only thing stuck in your head after the CD ends will be the unfortunate echo of whoever's doing that quasi-clean vocal in the choruses, with a painful nasal rasp that's like biting on tinfoil.

It's no fun to bag on a band who are obviously trying so hard to get their name out, but in cases like these, you wish the guys in the group spent less time being savvy businessmen and more time woodshedding and finding their own metal muse. The whole thing comes off a few years too late and a little bit crass and gimmicky, but it's obvious that 5 STAR GRAVE have the talent and skill to be so much more if they'd put their minds to it.