AMERICAN HEAD CHARGE Guitarist Talks About New DVD

Ruin magazine recently conducted an interview with AMERICAN HEAD CHARGE guitarist Benji Hellberg. An excerpt from the chat follows:

Ruin: The DVD ["Can't Stop the Machine", due on April 3] package provides a window into the band. It made me more of a fan after seeing it.

Benji: I'm glad that you feel that way. The band has definitely lived the life of a real rock band. You read books from MARILYN MANSON, MÖTLEY CRÜE or even VAN HALEN, and you see this video, and it's rock and roll. However, just because I use the term "rock and roll," doesn't mean that it's not emotional. I'm not using it in the context of an '80s good time band, I guess. There have been a lot of ups and downs. For instance when we were playing at Castle Donnington with BLACK SABBATH at the 2005 Download Festival, that was intense. When we came out, 50,000 people were chanting "Bryan" and the band's name. It's pretty intense because Bryan was my best friend.

Ruin: You got the call to join right after you heard about Bryan passing, right?

Benji: I had gotten a phone call, and somebody had said that somebody in HEAD CHARGE had died, and I was like "Whatever." I didn't believe it at all. I called Cameron immediately, and he answered the phone, and he was like "Yeah, it's true but I can't tell you who." Because he knew that Bryan and I were really, really close. I was just like, "Please tell me it wasn't Bryan. Was it Bryan?" and he was like, "Yeah, it was." It was a pretty emotional moment. Then within that same minute, they asked me if I would fill in for the rest of the shows that tour because Bryan would've wanted me to do it. Of course I said yes. They came home. I had three days to learn all of the music, and go to Bryan's funeral and his wake. Then I got on a plane to Texas to start the MUDVAYNE tour.

Ruin: That must've been so surreal.

Benji: I was friends with Chad Gray [MUDVAYNE vocalist]. The guys in MUDVAYNE did everything they could for us. Chad didn't know I was going to be taking Bryan's spot, but he knew Bryan and I were buddies. So when I saw him, he gave me a big hug. It was open arms all the way, but it was super surreal because I remember digging through the bays and finding Bryan's clothes and his shoes. Then that night when it was time to go play, it was all of Bryan's gear, his guitars and everything. So it was definitely a big part of him that was around my neck the whole tour. Every show we've ever played, I've used a lot of Bryan's stuff still.

Ruin: It must've been strange for you to get into that position as he was your best friend.

Benji: At first, it was just only to fill in. Bryan was the type of person that was diehard about staying on the road. So we figured he would've been bummed out if we stopped the tour. When it came time to play the songs — knowing that Bryan would've wanted me to be there in that position — it wasn't hard to do it because I loved it so much. The hard part was, here I am on tour with MUDVAYNE achieving a big part of my dream, but then the reason why I'm achieving it is about the saddest moment of my life. It's the biggest and saddest thing at the same time, if you can understand that.

Ruin: It must've torn you apart in a lot of ways.

Benji: It totally did, but then it really… I knew that Bryan wouldn't have wanted me to just bum out about it. I know that he would've definitely wanted me to think about him a lot, but he would've wanted me to enjoy it too. I had the blessing of Bryan's whole family too. I was really close with them to begin with, but since Bryan's passing I got to hang out with his brother a lot more and go visit his mom. I would see his mom all the time around the house, but it was different without Bryan there. That was kind of different going through his whole life and then going into his bedroom where I had been a million times, but it felt a lot emptier. It was heavy. I feel strange even talking about it.

Ruin: Didn't you and Bryan play together in BLACK FLOOD DIESEL?

Benji: Yeah until he joined HEAD CHARGE. Actually, I was just getting out of rehab, and I got a call from our manager in BLACK FLOOD and she was like, 'You need to come over to my house Bryan is going to be waiting here.' So the first thing I did, after I'd been in rehab for 30 days or whatever, was get driven over to where Bryan was. He was sitting at the end of our manager's driveway balling. I got out of the car, and I was like, "So I guess HEAD CHARGE must've called you?" I got that sense, and he was like, "Yeah, they did. I don't know what to do." I was like, "I know what you do, you get your fuckin' ass out of here — just pack your bags up and go do it, man. This is part of the dream." I was super happy for him. In the same sense, I was sad to see my best friend go, but this was an opportunity of a lifetime for him.

Read the entire interview at this location.